Haaa Choo! I Sneeze On You Motherfuckers

Trying to do some work this afternoon I hear my bike chain rattle so I look out my window to find this little bastard stealing my bike wheel. My two old broken bikes which I leave chained outside were stripped of a wheel each while I was away for a month and I pretty much knew the other wheels would get snatched too. This shit pisses me off. So. I had a nice brick on my window ledge ready to throw at the thief if I ever caught him. Well, as I had the brick in my hand ready to throw I suddenly realized I could possibly kill this guy with a throw from my 3rd floor window, and I just aint the killing type. So I put the brick down and look for something else to throw at him. The only thing near by is the spoon on my window sill from an afternoon apple sauce snack. Yes, I threw a spoon at the bicycle thief. Yes, I got played. Yes, you can laugh.